goodbye

i dont need a win for christmas
i dont need time and luck
i dont need riches and fame.

I need her.
and i think i love her.

whats christmas?

another trip

time passes fast when you are having fun.
ive spent more than ever this week, bought
speakers, a topfromtopman, itouch casing,
converse,specs, A christmas present. yesyes
i know im a selfish bastard always never give you guys.

today was great, had breakfast at hawker with
granny mum and cousin then met the bro's for lunch
at n.y.d.c at wheelock, rushed to north to pass the
c.prezzie, rushed back home. had dinner with
cousin's family and ordered my specs, i dont have
perfect eyesight anymore. my degree's like 300 plus
could be because i played lots of dota at sea games.
Spend 7.60 on starbucks, didnt know it was so darn
expensive and caffeine has been keeping me awake.

my flight's on thurs/tmro but ssf only called me today to
tell me that i havta pay 2.5k. Went to link up with the
other guys and we decided that it was too expensive.
thought i could spend christmas in singapore and
finally get my long awaited break then they lowered the
price to 1.2k so yes im going to melbourne. Flying off
tmro night, i dont know what to pack and what to wear.
This is retarded, i blog knowing that words spread
around and could get to them, yea whatever.

Right now its 12.30am, grumps mummy and i we are
sitting down in the living room listening to chinese
karaoke, hopefully by spending time with em' now,
i wont miss them so badly especially during the
dec 24-jan2 period. Love my family, i know they
are supportive of every decision i make. blame
bad timing for everything i guess. no human fault.

there isnt a possibility that i would get to spend christmas in singapore.

f.

there's no better song than this

chorus ;


cause if you jump i will jump too
we will fall together from the building's ledge
never looking back at what we done we'll say it was love
cause i would die for you on skyway avenue

hello imback but soon i'll begone

Sea games was one hellava fun trip, loved the company.
i'm starting to miss the 2am soccer kicks and 4am dota.
russian grannies and that super cold morning PT in
the pool.Crazy tuk tuk rides and cheap thai massage.
Didnt like the contrast bath and the wind though,
the max wind we got during comp was maybe 11knots?.

competition was tough especially in the light and flunky
conditions with the two breeze fighting each other and
it was never a easy competition, had to work arses off.

usual faces in the 420 fleet, nice blokes unlike the
other classes which i wouldnt name. fcuked up race
management in every sense , huh what fairplay?.

overall it was a really good trip and off i go to
melbourne for aussie nationals and 29er worlds.
will post pics up, awesome company man.

awol

last post before i cut myself outta distractions.
they are taking my phone away tonight, not like ive
been using it anw. trng was really good today and the
wind was 15-20knots, cool stuff.

seems like this is it i guess, 2.5months of preparation,
endless cycling trips, countless laps, sweaty gym sessions.
sleepless nights, pain muscles, tendon strain, and right now
a left hip that gets stuck after every trng. I can take that.

thanks bff if your reading this,
dont jump ok;/.

bros', take care

i know where my bearing is, its pointing at you.confirmm

rest day

blowing 15 knots now and the rest are sailing,
420s got rest day today. its darn boringg now
no one online, gonna sail for another 3 days then
a day of break and another 2 days and a day of break.

5th fact of life:

when the world has someone else, the world wont care about you.

ggxx the wind is 15knots once more.has been blowing like kingdom come
since day one. i got 3 mins to blog since i'm gonna be sailing soon,
pattaya is freaking dusty and its cold outt at sea some days i even
wear my titanium suit to sail. take care all, bros how ya doing?

thailand

yes im still alive alright.

yesterday we sailed in 14-21 knots
nice wave, abit cold though, still lovin' it.

trng's going well and yeah thats about it

gonna sail now and its blowing 16knots.
keep up the power if your reading this ; )

250th post ( happy week )

crap this is gonna be one long post , last few hours in singapore.

my tapper week has been great , gone outta the house shitloads
been leaving the house as early as 630am and coming back at 11.
averaging 5 hrs of sleep, ive become a zombie with eye bags.

monday - went for medical check up, bought jeans from topman
went home slept abit more, dota, tv.

tuesday- psychology which never really quite happened cos i forgot
that we postponed it, did gym+core. Bummed around the library,
went out with aaron to town had mos then high tea at marriott
with godma mum and the crazyy cuzzies. Rushed down to nsc
to do a last min repair on the equipment but it was good. Took
36 to godma's house then left for ikea, had a dozen meatballs
plus whatever that was there, bought some stuff and got home at 10ish.

wednesday - woke up at 630 went to sch for psychology and physio
then joined the academy for dragon boating at bedok. It was fun
and i used it as my cardio trng, haa im such a slacker. Got to sch
in time for the signing of NSA's, had some photoshoot which left
my jaw aching. Reached home around 10 plus, slacken a little.

thursday - Wanted to do gym in the morning but i was too lazy
met the mates at 830 and left for sentosa and the class had
one heck of a time. Pictures were up in the previous post,
got a cut on my right sole, aint complaining. Went to vivo with
bff to get kang-er-roos chocolates, EH WTF U GUYS STILL OWE
me 2 buck each!. took a train down to tampines, caught The Kingdom
with bff and someone fell asleep halfway through, idiott waste my $.
Bought a card for kang-er-roo and went to print the pics outside
my place. Bought milk tea and i was only allowed to drink 1/4,.

Friday - Went back to school for staff day and soccer boys were
very noisy as usual, was good to see the faces of Roy, Safuwan,
Aqhari, Nasri but PAIMAN wasnt there. I repeat PAIMAN has gone
awol and i dont want to go to staircases to find him, then we took
pics again. Met andrew ,jimmy/louis and aaron, had popeyes at
T1 , lunch was fanfuckingtastic. Took bus 69 home and started
packing my stuff for sea games, slept for an hour and had a
bad dream which still is good. 2 dreams in a week, what more can i ask for.

okay, been caught up with tons of stuff as u can see. Just
wanna say thks to my bros, cycling was really fun even though
two of you nearly got knocked down by the HL milk truck.
you guys have been there for me ,always and could it be because
u guys want something from me after sea games? hhaa just joking la
aaron pan i know your reading this, thanks alot guys and cheers mate.
keep it hanging for another 3 weeks till im back, dont commit any sort
of crime without me. oneforall allforone.

bff thanks for listening to all my shite, i cant believe that you sent 4000 msges
a week and that is quite a feat so i recommend u the new singtel
plan with unlimited smses but only to singtel users. Dont do anything foolish
on the 16 dec till i come back, if u wanna then do it on the 17 dec.
dont do a funeral for a friend pls. anyhow so just KEEP it rolling with that guy.

okay so my preparation for sea games has been great i reckon its better than
asian games last year i believe, been going through a steady program
and i think i'm fit enough to sail 3 races a day back to back in 15-20 knots
and still be able to sail the last race like the first. I did 17 cycling sessions,
8 swimming sessions and 2 running sessions within the past 2.5 months.
working on aerobic and anaerobic fitness, muscular endurance, flexibility.
ok so this is it i guess, this is the final. what ive been trng so hard for.
On wednesday my psychologist asked me what do i do when the pain is
intolerable, i said '' gotta be extreme i guess, I WANT TO MURDER THE FLEET''
I WANT TO RIP THEM APART. I want this more than anyone else.


boy sees girl, boy thinks shes ordinary
boy gets to know her better, boy thinks shes really nice
boy talks to her,
boy thinks shes special
boy thinks shes one of a kind
boy has fallen for her.

NOWORDS BUT JUSTPICTURES

sentosa

let me light up the sky
light it up for you
let me tell you why
i would die for you.

imsofuckingboredcan.

The Basics
Hair Color: thinking of dying it

Eye Color: dontknowdont care

Height: 169.8cm

Profession: bummer/ beach boy

Relationship Status: fuck

Religious Views; free thinker

My Favorites

Favorite Color: i take whatever

Favorite Car: any, i'd love a vespa

Favorite Movie: too many

Favorite Hobby: dota cycling soccer ( sailor's life )

Favorite Song/Singer: trance, cafe del mar

Favorite Book/Author: only sailing books, or sports science

Favorite School Subject: ponning class, something ive been very involved with recently

Favorite Vacation Destination: maldives

Favorite Food: combo A ( bubble tea + donuts )

Favorite Restaurant: dont know

Favorite Animal: dont know

Favorite Store: zhik, keep buying and buying i got ALMOST the whole collection, aint lending.

Favorite Celebrity : sloan

Favorite Childhood Friend: virgil, did i spell your name correctly?

Favorite Childhood Memory: i bullied so badly

Favorite Baby Name: supercheng

Favorite Person In Your Life: granny, she's life basically.



This or That

Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla, cookies and cream anytime over vanilla

Big Mac or Whopper: none, fat food

Coke or Pepsi : coke ( i drink 7up )

Beer or Wine: hard liquor,

Coffee or Tea: coffee to stay awake, tea whenever/ bubble tea, get it

Apple Juice or O.J.: apple

Facebook or MySpace: facebook, dont have myspace

Summer or Winter: winter. when im sailing then summer

Windows or Mac: mac, use your brains

Cats or Dogs: none, sea monkey's the best or tamagochi

Boxers or Briefs: got both, i cant decide which one's better, depends on which harness i wear, kidding la

Rain or Shine : rain with wind, sunshine can bugger off

Chips or Popcorn: chips

Salty or Sweet: salty

Plane or Boat: boat.

Morning or Night: night, confirm,

Movie or Play: i'd rather sleep-in.

Walk or Drive: none, start reducing carbon emissons, go cycling.

Money or Love: love, yes im stupid for that. 160k does me no happiness

Breakfast or Dinner: breakfast must include hotcakes and my newspaper

Forgiveness or Revenge: kill and destroy.

Paint or Wallpaper: wtf?.

House or Apartment: apartment



Have You Ever

Stolen Anything: yeah , got a prob with that?.

Been Drunk Before Noon: no i dont do that kinda shite

Had Sex In A Public Place: dont wanna

Got Caught Telling A Lie: yeah

Got A Speeding Ticket; yep when had to slow down in 20 knots reaching with spin

Been Arrested: nah they're too slow for me.

Littered: out at sea and got scolded

Fantasized About A Co-Worker; thats hot but no.

Cheated On A Test: not recently

Cheated In A Relationship; you help me answer

Failed A Class: wherever whenever

Screened Your Phone Calls: nope, delete them

Eaten Food Off The Floor: thats sick,

Stuck Gum Under A Desk: i dont do gum,

Wished You Were Someone Else: i wouldnt mind having a house like chun's.

Cried During A Movie; am i suppose to say no?. yes

Had A One Night Stand: too lazy, rather stay in bed and play psp.

Other
Describe Yourself In One Word: shagged

Biggest Fear: sharks

Biggest Mistake: living

Your Proudest Accomplishment; i can eat much more than whats proportion to my hips

#1 Priority In Your Life: make sure my ipod/phone/psp is fully charged b4 leaving house

Dream Job: dont dream ( good pay + happiness , i want ! )

Causes You Believe In: cant be bothered

Special Talents: natural at jumping,( not with a lower back injury now. )

Where Are You Right Now; home, with a bout of flu and fever

Where Would You Rather Be; in my bed with my psp.

Famous Person You Want To Meet: sloan from entourage

Place To Visit Before You Die: caribbean

Song Played At Your Funeral: trance, coolness yeah. so dont pangseh

the panadol effect

slept from 947-215am. im awake now at 2.59am.

life gets boringg after a while, when it has no bearings for you
when u walk in circles, when you question all that is around you.
ya feel' me?. recently lows after lows have hit me, so badly i'm
actually beneath the sand now. and i need your hand to pull me up.


had a sweet dream last night,fantastic. what was better was that
i can still rmb what was it. wait,, do dreams turn into reality?

i'm listening to rachel yamagata at 3.12am.

dying flame

its like the whole world is watching
cant i just sit there and stare at you without anyone asking
i'm taking a step back, this is for you.
things wont get uncomfortable then.


caught game plan today, its really nice.
if only..

i'll be doing just fine

just finished studying PE,
stine if i sleep while flying the spin tmro
remember to wake me up ok.

time check, 3.11am

reality; i cant sleep, red bull works so well

exams ; monday-wednesday
gotta pull through now, gotta pull through pls.


life's been life, i know i havent been posting lately.
but some of you might know what has been happening

1. trng's gonna slow down and be in taper mode
2. exams tmro
3. hospital check-up on tues.
4. uncle's in deep shite, diagnosed with last stage of cancer
5. people questioning my social life
6. finding/looking within
7. surviving, hoping , wishing

and so you know life couldnt get any better
but there's always a bounce back ( confirm )

i'm hoping for a better tomorrow so i'll work hard today.
life cant get anymore fcuked.

lets stay in business

say your last goodbye

there's so much negativity now, i dont wanna think about it.
just let me survive the next 15 days. and hopefully life gets
better in thailand. I dont wish to go into vulgarities frenzy.

i'm completely drained, have i done enough?
when i see your smile tears roll down my face.

this is one damn bloody painful decision to make.

he said, she said.

BLOG WILL BE CLOSE FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS.

life is like a stand till,
if i could turn back time..

tieeeed up

in my own term;

have i done enough?
or should i give it all up.
am i thinking too fast
or there wasnt meant to be a long one
life gets nowhere


music- Jose Padilla - Cafe Del Mar - Lux - Northern Lights
calm down,

it has been such a longg day. 17 hours outside i must say im enjoying
the weekend. Seriously i think this is my 4th or 5th weekend off
this year and im feelin' it, life's good. Went to sss in the morning
then vivo and back to sss in the afternoon.

Had dinner with my family at amk hub, new york new york
and i finished the whole pork rib + ice blended chocolate velvet,
what a weird name. Then we drove down to siglap for gelare with
my cousins, omgawk i think my calorie intake today is probably
3000 plus. I'm freaking tired now, time check ; 1.27am.

I'm gonna sleep in tmro/later and gonna go out with my mum and cousins for
ice cream and cakes at holland v in the afternoon. I'm planning to wake up
at 1130am and am gonna take it easy starting off by reading the papers.
tmro's laidback dudes, aint no rushing filling in. Exams in two days time.

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad times xxx1000000

like a prayer

okay i'm absolutely dead from today's session.
40 plus reaching windward hoist in 6-8 knots
for 90 mins. i got blisters on my right feet now.

camp starts tmro till saturday i dont know what
to expect but i know i will gain more experience
in small fleet racing. I hope everything is not
last min and rushing, already is anyway.

I like how things are right now i feel so much
for sailing and i'm looking forward to taking
it to the next level, enjoyla

I'm kinda convinced that you'll tick rp
but a part of me wished that it was aut,

everyday u see me les and les ;

okay national colours today was a screw up, haha i fcuked up.
Had pastamania for dinner plus combo A, went to buy bubble
tea with double pearls and bought fried chicken. Omgawk
how am i gonna beat Alvin chong in skinfold now eh?.
his is like 33 freaking %. Whose fault is it now that ive been
eating all the junk food, you biatch.


i dont feel like i'm getting fitter,
but the results show otherwise.
power power im feelin' ya*
lets smoke the whole town.


s ; '' im dead tired''

s ; '' last downwind''

s ; ''fcuking confirm''

day one.

i'm screwing up, i dont feel the power in my legs
when i cycle. somethings wrong. I'm missing that something.

where is she

i'm tired, yea what?

yea I'm tired and you guessed it right, the past
11 days have been totally and sweet. wtc!.
look after yourself, the snacks and dvds will come in handy I'm sure.
Hehheh just hope you do not have to declare goods!.
I'm gonna be stuck with wtt i guess but don't worry I'll jio you.
take pics of the zebra or tiger if you can, seriously.
argh my head's going cranky now, anw dont slack ok,
and they might provide oxygen tank if black really happens.
gtg knock my head against the wall now, Take care and stay green :



I've been thinking everyday about you
Don't fit anywhere into my life, but that's okay
'Cause I think I might be right for you
And because of that, I'm not scared at all
And everyone says I'm crazy
And everyone says I'm a fool
Would you meet me by the water tonight
'Cause I'm ready to break all the rules

as time goes by

in exactly 23 hours time,
she'll be leaving on a jet plane
and i don't know when she'll be back again.



3.11am

'' no worries i'll make wind for you''

haha thanks ah lianzz, its gonna storm now. rain i mean.

look after you.

i like this song by The Fray;

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate


pretty much sum up the coming 3 months.
this road wasnt meant to be easy.
it'll go just fine.

i'll look after you.

omgsuchagoodweek

I managed to survive week 1 , no aching muscles
or pain from the strained tendon right now.
but i know week 2 starts tomorrow and there's
also week 3 and week 4. And i'm all too familiar
with accumulative muscle and mental fatigue,
i'm pacing myself now. I wont let the heart rate
go beyond 195bpm, i want to reach the finishing line
with that passion to be able to sail another series.

It stormed today with gust up to 40 knots and for
a moment i thought Joshua windsurfed his way down
to suntec to buy factory donuts, land drills weren't
as fun as i thought. trng was canceled and i watched
some chinese movie at home while waiting mum was
sleeping. dinner was super filling!, i had
milkshake and cheese cake!, oo nearly typed cheesepie down.

hey lianzz, bengzz here blogging about you so nice right!
omg that was so copy and paste haha. anw i think your
always telling me to train harder because you want your
chocolate buffet right?!. i dont care i want my mache
so you better win that 60k!, if your gonna slack you'll
wake up in the middle of the night to hear my ghostly voice!.
tomorrow ho bengzz kiat already. effin gg. muahaha
and also, Chinese for first two period dont roar!.
someone's waking up in 6 hrs time.

i'm still so far away,
but i wont give up
time will prove it.

good week

Monday- cycling, 163bpm. 20 mins

Tuesday-swimming, 20 laps , 30 mins

wednesday- cycling , 168bpm, 20 mins

thursday - swimming, 25 laps, 35mins

friday - cycling , 173bpm , 20 mins


When the going hits hard its always good to have
days like today to keep the motivation high.
my first growth spurt was 9cm, i'm waiting for
the second to come. Positive,

I think today was the best day i've had in ages

tired

Did 3 cardio sessions this week ,

guess who i was thinking of when i recorded
192 beats per min on the cycling machine this morning.

things to focus on

1. sailing
2. gym
3. family
4. studies

i wish i could put something down , but its more of a
distracted isn't it?.

time is running out,how?

4 and counting.

darn im damn shag ;

before its too late

when you dont have a choice, you gotta just stick with it

when you have a choice, you take forever to decide.

thats how im feeling now.

1973; when i was sober

elearn today, i woke up at 855am and school started
at 9am, i logged in late and didnt know what lesson
to attend. The whole class was chatting on msn ,
as much as we dislike studying i'm starting to
feel the drive that is developing within the class.
These mates are my mates, only they know how it feels
when you've tried and well, failed. We chatted like
the good old' days, they must have gone to bugis today
sorry i couldnt join you guys, had training. Remember
tmro same time,

Had a good training session today, did some sail testing
and the learning curve seems really positive, there's only
one guy who i truly look up to. And his not going sea games,
i dont even know how he does his holy shit. Motivated at all
times feather like agility,Scofield like intelligence.
It could take me years to get there but wtf i aint giving up,

Training program ;
5 cardio sessions a week, 30 mins at least for each
3 weights session, low intensity around 25-35 reps
3 physio sessions a week
4 going on to 5 sessions of sailing a week
1 psycho session a week.

master of your fate.

I did a average of 172 bpm for a 27 mins cycle to nsc
just on the verge of touching lactic, glad i pulled out
of it. Guess its another one tomorrow. 8.5 weeks more to
sea games,

if you cant control, convince
perfect ten, 98.7 fm

woohoo! shiokness in that . finally

today was awesome, swimming 1km was darn tiring.
but completing it was satisfying ,
its been 7 years since i took that plunge.
feels good doesn't it?.

dinner was funny :

miserable at best . xx roxy

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

lets not talk about problems and troubles


80% of you dont care

20% laugh about it.


upping the cardio program.
shitzu

the high pressure is coming up.

15 knots

17 knot gust

big waves

strong current.

shiokness in that ;)

new stuff, took me ages.


life is ______
dead boring that is.


been upping the cardio program,
sleepy head i am.
gdnight

oh did i mention i had a stressful week in school?
i studied ;(. and got what i wanted/needed.

1.5 months left, lets floor it once more.

strained tendon,

nth's gonna stop the going.


to-do list.

1. imagery.
2. stay positive.

study study.

930- 130am.

P.E and chem.

girl. dont. slack. its wednesday. now.

goodluck maxi!.

another quick one.

sensational.

today was great!thanks everyone you guys are
really sweet and i cant thank you enough.

denise for the shirt

auntie shirley for the bubbletea pearls x2.

siobhan for the cake( its been 8 years! )

auntie for the 8 different cheesecakes.

the night ended off well.super.


cycling 40km today, i cant imagine.


it hurts alot , you didnt even bother right?.
u didnt even wish me, last year too.
all you know is just sitting on the damn
sofa watching tv from the 42inch LCD that
i bought for the family. you know what? screw it,
you dont have to fetch me to nsc anymore,
i'll walk there if i have to. we've given up on you.
when i grow up, i WON't be like you.

its never good to post this kinda things on the net
but i gotta let it out, guys pls dont talk about it
even if you know what it is. thnks. let me enjoy the
last 12 mins of my special day. not that special anymore.

bf; im listening to walking on the milky way.
all the best for your project tmro!

a quick one

just three wishes will do, i need tons more
but i cant be greedy.

1. Get the bloody AUT scholarship.

2. Win sea games

3. for her to ace her O's.

life. is changing

food was really good, flaming lambo was the most
hardcore thing i've tried. the company was awesome.
thanks once again, murphy!. cheers.

i had to go offline, if i carried on talking to you.
..... ..... ...........

Life is changing, luck is there. in my favour
I'm all excited now thinking about the next 6-8 years.
study hard sherm, floor em' now.

sheeppie, today was great especially swensens
enjoy life alright?
join the party